Well I've got some very bad news for you. I am the last bacteria, I'm out for revenge, I'm mature, I've dropped on the floor where there's a decent food source just under the fridge and I'm about to undergo binary fission.
First of all, you should know (evil laugh), that bacteria multiply exponentially. So I will divide into 2, then those 2 into 2 and so on. The numbers of my army will just go ballistic.
You won't know where I am, because your kids come home mid-afternoon and they'll transfer my brethren all over your kitchen.
By the time you get home tonight, I will be in control - ha ha ha ha !
Anyway, none of your bug-killing has any point because you forgot to wash your hands yesterday after you blew your nose and then made the chocolate gateaux.
OK so this is the nearest thing to an evil bacteria and I'm a fan of plankton anyway...