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Please read this first

First of all we'd like to say, like many other consumer-facing organisations that take the quality of their interactions with customers very seriously, that "nobody else has complained".

So you must be one of those people that goes around complaining about everything.


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You're a valued customer of
Your feedback is important to us.
We contiuously strive to improve the customer experience and journey.

We may record your call, so we can have a good laugh about how long we kept you waiting and how long you genuinely believed that your call was in any way important to us.


Contact Details

Our customer service number is engaged/unusually busy/will cut you off/a secret.
Our head office number is not available online, so you can't get us that way.

If we have a problem with the site and you're sure its not working properly, please let us know. We will then try to fix it by suggesting that you:

(a) have a problem with your browser
(b) have a problem with your internet connection
(c) are really pretty stupid

and we won't thank you for letting us know - we were just enjoying a nice cup of tea.

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. Silly product stuff
. Bad product design
. Annoying Marketing